You’re probably not going to get the coffee-time treatment from your employer anytime soon, but if you’ve ever been fired for coffee time it’s worth it.
This article outlines the process, what you need to do, and the best time to ask for coffee, according to the Coffee Time Act of 2009.1.
Ask for your job description.2.
Make an appointment for a coffee time.3.
Make a list of all the coffee times that are allowed.4.
Make sure you ask your boss to stop by at least twice a week.5.
Ask your boss for a “break” time.6.
If you can’t get a break, ask to speak to the coffee person in charge of your coffee-times.7.
If the coffee is done and your boss tells you it’s okay, you should be relieved.8.
If your coffee time has been cancelled, get a new coffee time and keep asking your boss about it.9.
Make your boss feel better if you have an appointment and you’re told it’s ok to take the coffee.10.
If they refuse to cancel your coffee, ask for your coffee.11.
If there’s no coffee, you can ask your manager to stop going to work and call a coffee person.12.
If it’s been three weeks, give your boss a break.13.
Ask the coffee people if they’re going to allow you to take coffee when they come to your desk.14.
If their answer is yes, tell them that you have a coffee break.15.
If she’s not going or your coffee is not on, ask your co-worker to come and make you a coffee.16.
If a co-workers coffee is late, you don’t have to call the coffee company to complain.17.
If someone else in the office is late for coffee then the coffee will be allowed at the boss’s desk, regardless of the date you made your coffee appointment.18.
Be prepared for a bad reaction from your co and your co’s boss.
If things get out of hand, just let your boss know and be prepared to explain that you need coffee, and then walk out.19.
If this is your first time being fired for being late for your work, be sure to read this article on how to be prepared for coffee breaks.20.
If that’s not possible, tell your boss that you want a coffee-break and ask for a break after you have your coffee if they aren’t going to cancel it.21.
Make the coffee and bring it to the desk.22.
If coffee is available, ask the coffee staff to bring it and let you know if they have it.23.
If all the employees are late for their coffee, don’t complain.24.
If any of your co or co’s are late, be willing to talk about it in front of your boss and the coffee shop staff.25.
If everyone is late you’re not going on vacation or getting away for vacation.
You’re going on your break.26.
If an employee has been fired, but they haven’t yet returned to work, then they can still be fired for the time they were in your office, even if you’re only supposed to have one day off per week.27.
When an employee leaves the office, the coffee must be brought back to the office.
If not, they’re not allowed to go back to their desk for a second.28.
If at any time during your break you’re late for the coffee, your coffee can’t be brought to the place where the coffee was taken.29.
If none of the coffee workers have coffee, bring it yourself, even though the coffee isn’t available.
If no one is willing to do it, bring the coffee yourself.30.
If after your break your coffee still isn’t in your bag, call the company and request a refund.31.
If during your next break you get another coffee-date, you are not allowed back to your job.
If anyone else is late and asks you to wait for them, you have to wait and if they are still late, tell the boss that they are not supposed to be late.
If neither person is able to wait, the boss will have to come back.32.
If even one of your employees is late to work on your next coffee-day, it is a violation of your contract and you may be fired.33.
If every coffee-related incident is your fault, you may get a raise.34.
If, at the end of your break, you get a phone call from your manager saying you’re fired for “having a coffee” and you have no idea why, tell her you didn’t want a meeting and go home.35.
If if you get fired because of a coffee problem, you’ll need to tell your employer the whole story of the incident.36.
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